07/07/07

I just had to acknowledge today. The only time in my life that I will live through a day dated 07/07/07.

Beware Teachers

I have just made a SENSATIONAL discovery. Teachers are actually ALIENS! Of course, I have yet to prove my theory, but it just makes such perfect sense.

Imagine an alien race determined to take over Earth. What better place to start then by weakening the future generations – that’s us by the way. Teachers are just perfectly situated to carry out this mission. They have us poor souls completely in their mercy. Everything they say we blindly believe, because, lets face it none of us are jobless enough to take time out to actually verify if what they are saying is true or not.

Haven’t you ever suspected your math teacher was actually from mars? Well according to my brilliant hypothesis she could be. It’s perfectly logical. While we are at home slaving over assignments – given to us by these pseudo teachers – they are out taking over the world. Why do you think they even give us these assignments and projects, its not like they ever correct them. The answer is so simple: to keep us busy and unsuspecting while they hatch their devious schemes.

All day long we have to listen to boring lectures of complete nonsense that are never going to help us in our lives. What difference does it make if bears hibernate in the winter? Don’t these people believe in live and let live? And what’s with Algebra anyway? I believe they come up with all these subjects just to keep us busy. Have you noticed that every time we seem to finally catch up with history, more is made and invariably added to next year’s syllabus by – you guessed it - teachers!

If one of us was so bold as to oppose this hideous torture we are immediately threatened with suspension and expulsion. Sounds a lot like dictatorship to me! We are threatened with mortal peril if we fail to bring an assignment on time. This effectively ensures that these aliens are free all evening to further their plans of invasion. Do you ever wonder what happens to these courageous souls who are bold enough to demand their rights? I think they are brainwashed during these long sessions with the headmistress because, as we all know, for a successful revolution to take place we need strong leaders. If no one opposes, the regime continues.

The reason I am convinced that these aliens are posing as teachers is because of the educational system we have here. What is the purpose of having such a major exam in the 10th? It is only needed to get into college, which we unsuspecting fools believe is an honour, when actually we are just voluntarily becoming victims to endless torture. Well the reason these teachers have this exam is because they know that by around the 8th std we are smart and worldly – wise enough to realize that a secret invasion is taking place. To ensure we remain ignorantly blissful they introduce this major exam and keep our noses to the grindstone so that we not only get a pointed nose, but we are too busy to realize the world is in peril. After 3 years of hard work we are just too exhausted and concentrate on acquiring some well-deserved R & R. By the time we reach the 12th we are fully revitalized and ready to take on these invaders. Hence the ‘your whole career is based on this’ major exam in the 12th. We humans are such that once we turn 18 we are now adults and thus too old for silly things like magic, witchcraft and alien invasions. We refuse to acknowledge the truth staring us in the face. These aliens get away scot-free!

I am not saying all teachers are aliens, but some definitely are. Take my high school physics teacher for example. She was a brilliant teacher, well practiced in the art of terrifying and torturing students. After our finals she mysteriously vanished. Of course the popular rumour was that she was pregnant and I have no reason to believe it was not true, but how are we to know she didn’t actually go back to her planet so that she and the ‘Council for the Betterment of Student Torture Techniques’ popularly called the CBSTT could come up with new torture devices? I personally know that such a committee does indeed exist. The previous technique introduced by them was the system of Mindmaps. This ingenious technique allowed them to tire the right part of our brain – the creative side – as well as the left part (the logical side).

What about my college zoology teacher? I always suspected her of being an ET, she is even called one! Little did I know that it was true. It is impossible for a normal human to emit sleep vibes as effectively as she does.

Which brings me to the point of exactly how these aliens manage to dupe us so fast. Come on we are all very smart, modern guys and gals so how do they convince us that they are right and we are wrong? The answer: hypnotic sound waves transmitted by speech. The longer the lecture the more drowsy and reluctant to question we become. Which also explains their love for extra classes. They don’t really want to complete the syllabus; they just want to ensure that we are under their spell.

What are we going to do about this madness? Secrecy is of utmost importance. If these aliens were to realize that we are on to them, we might spend the rest of our lives believing that gorillas evolved from man. We must fight these alien invaders with the best skills we have. Not to get all Justice League on you but The World Is Depending On Us. As this war begins I have just 2 pieces of advice to share with you – Don’t trust anyone and yawning in class is hazardous to health. May the force be with you.

Top Ten Ways to Loose Weight at Work

1. Get up late. The mad rush to get to work on time is more of a workout than an hour at the gym.
2. Work on the 3rd floor. The elevator never goes there.
3. Have a cubicle situated after the boss’ office. The aerobics involved in trying to get to your cubicle without the boss noticing you’re late is really a calorie burner.
4. Have a chair with wheels. It takes more effort to wheel that chair from one place to another, than to walk.
5. Pick the same restaurant as your boss to catch a quick bite to eat.
6. Actually try to do some work. The running around involved in trying to get anything done makes up for the morning jog you missed trying to get to work.
7. Drop your files just before a meeting. You have to do those stretches some time.
8. Bring work home from the office. No need to lift those dumbbells.
9. Try to please your boss. Jumping through hoops is a good form of exercise.
10. Be ambitious. You know the muscles involved in climbing a ladder?
    

But the best way to loose weight at work is BE THE BOSS. You always have to remain one step ahead of the rest!

Curtain Call

For all the world’s a stage and life but a never ending play, with an ever changing cast, where all the characters know their lines. All but one…

What role shall I play today? It’s hard to say, for I never know the script beforehand. Suspense at it’s best.

Tragedy, comedy, romance… it’s hard to categorize, differentiate, for they all merge into one… blurring the lines. The ultimate performance, the greatest show.

What role am I to play today? The curtain is rising, the theatre is full. With expectation. But the script remains blank, the actors invisible. Life unfolds, like a story. The backstage beckons, but the platform awaits, I begin my act. What else could I do? The show must go on...

Clueless!!

No, I’m not talking about the movie; I’m actually talking about my life. It’s not really a very comfortable state of affairs. It might have helped if I had Cher Horowitz’s connections, but the only thing we had in common was our clueless state, and now she too has joined the ranks of ‘knowing all’ while I am still walking in the dark.

Why do people always expect you to know more than you do? It’s like a fact of life. Whatever you know well, someone knows better. Me, I don’t even qualify to run the race!

Did you know that Rahul and Tanuja broke up!? I didn’t even know they were dating in the first place! But that’s okay; people don’t expect me to know now. That’s one good thing come out of this miserable affair! Want to pass on some juicy gossip to someone who definitely doesn’t already know? I’m the one they come too.

I can live without knowing if the hottest guy in college is single again. – Would really like to know! – But I can survive in suspense. What I really can’t bear is when everyone knows something about me, which I don’t even know about. Still they always think I know exactly what they’re talking about! News flash people – I’m clueless!!

How do people find all these things out anyway? It’s not like I’m a hermit, I’m always around! But I somehow seem to magically filter out all interesting information. Useless boring trivia – now that I’ll remember! Did you know that 40 guntas is one acre? Who cares!?

To all you people out there who say ‘ignorance is bliss’, I have to tell you – Not!

What’s in the Name?

The first question one would inevitably, indeed it would be considered odd if you didn’t, ask a stranger is “What is your name?” Your name is your identity, your sole possession in this faceless world. It is by your name that you are recognized, honoured and remembered long after your physical presence is lost.

I have always considered it a great misfortune that you cannot choose your given name. A name could tell you so much about a person. Yet we are denied this opportunity for observation simply because a name is etched before the character of a person. Does the name influence the character of a person or is it the name that is influenced by the character of a person? Perhaps on giving it more thought, I shall answer that question myself later.

Over the years I’ve called myself many names, but today I would like to explain why I chose the names I did for this domain.

Sunchaser. Truth to tell, though I’d like to claim I came up with this name on my own, I actually read about it in a series called ‘Unicorns of Balinor’. Sunchaser was the name of a unicorn. I chose this name because, to me, it symbolizes chasing your dreams, the pursuit of happiness. The sun that we all revolve around, that lights up our lives, if we were to ever hold it in our hands the world would be ours. The sun I seek is not yet in my grasp. But till it is, I will chase it.

My URL name, MoonWanderer seems to be the complete opposite of my chosen name. Where the sun gives light and brings day, the moon is the symbol of the night. Where ‘to chase’ shows a definite goal, ‘to wander’ is when one still seeks a goal. Yet, if I were to choose a name for the world I live in, I would still choose MoonWanderer. You might think I meant that in a world shrouded in darkness where people wander aimlessly, unaware of their destination, I am one of those who seek the light. Perhaps. But it is not the reason I chose it.

MoonWanderer… it sounds exotic, fanciful, unbelievable. It makes me think of magic, miracles, fairies, witches, unicorns. The stuff of dreams, of fantasies, an escape from reality. Which is what this is. My escape from reality and the mundane circles that constitute life.

This is the world of my creation. You are welcome to join my here. Maybe you’ll get to know me, maybe you already do, but there will always be something more to learn, something new. So, if you feel you are ready to leave the realm of reality, find your name.