07 July, 2007
07/07/07
I just had to acknowledge today. The only time in my life that I will live through a day dated 07/07/07.
04 July, 2007
Beware Teachers
I have just made a SENSATIONAL discovery. Teachers are actually ALIENS! Of course, I have yet to prove my theory, but it just makes such perfect sense.
Imagine an alien race determined to take over Earth. What better place to start then by weakening the future generations – that’s us by the way. Teachers are just perfectly situated to carry out this mission. They have us poor souls completely in their mercy. Everything they say we blindly believe, because, lets face it none of us are jobless enough to take time out to actually verify if what they are saying is true or not.
Haven’t you ever suspected your math teacher was actually from mars? Well according to my brilliant hypothesis she could be. It’s perfectly logical. While we are at home slaving over assignments – given to us by these pseudo teachers – they are out taking over the world. Why do you think they even give us these assignments and projects, its not like they ever correct them. The answer is so simple: to keep us busy and unsuspecting while they hatch their devious schemes.
All day long we have to listen to boring lectures of complete nonsense that are never going to help us in our lives. What difference does it make if bears hibernate in the winter? Don’t these people believe in live and let live? And what’s with Algebra anyway? I believe they come up with all these subjects just to keep us busy. Have you noticed that every time we seem to finally catch up with history, more is made and invariably added to next year’s syllabus by – you guessed it - teachers!
If one of us was so bold as to oppose this hideous torture we are immediately threatened with suspension and expulsion. Sounds a lot like dictatorship to me! We are threatened with mortal peril if we fail to bring an assignment on time. This effectively ensures that these aliens are free all evening to further their plans of invasion. Do you ever wonder what happens to these courageous souls who are bold enough to demand their rights? I think they are brainwashed during these long sessions with the headmistress because, as we all know, for a successful revolution to take place we need strong leaders. If no one opposes, the regime continues.
The reason I am convinced that these aliens are posing as teachers is because of the educational system we have here. What is the purpose of having such a major exam in the 10th? It is only needed to get into college, which we unsuspecting fools believe is an honour, when actually we are just voluntarily becoming victims to endless torture. Well the reason these teachers have this exam is because they know that by around the 8th std we are smart and worldly – wise enough to realize that a secret invasion is taking place. To ensure we remain ignorantly blissful they introduce this major exam and keep our noses to the grindstone so that we not only get a pointed nose, but we are too busy to realize the world is in peril. After 3 years of hard work we are just too exhausted and concentrate on acquiring some well-deserved R & R. By the time we reach the 12th we are fully revitalized and ready to take on these invaders. Hence the ‘your whole career is based on this’ major exam in the 12th. We humans are such that once we turn 18 we are now adults and thus too old for silly things like magic, witchcraft and alien invasions. We refuse to acknowledge the truth staring us in the face. These aliens get away scot-free!
I am not saying all teachers are aliens, but some definitely are. Take my high school physics teacher for example. She was a brilliant teacher, well practiced in the art of terrifying and torturing students. After our finals she mysteriously vanished. Of course the popular rumour was that she was pregnant and I have no reason to believe it was not true, but how are we to know she didn’t actually go back to her planet so that she and the ‘Council for the Betterment of Student Torture Techniques’ popularly called the CBSTT could come up with new torture devices? I personally know that such a committee does indeed exist. The previous technique introduced by them was the system of Mindmaps. This ingenious technique allowed them to tire the right part of our brain – the creative side – as well as the left part (the logical side).
What about my college zoology teacher? I always suspected her of being an ET, she is even called one! Little did I know that it was true. It is impossible for a normal human to emit sleep vibes as effectively as she does.
Which brings me to the point of exactly how these aliens manage to dupe us so fast. Come on we are all very smart, modern guys and gals so how do they convince us that they are right and we are wrong? The answer: hypnotic sound waves transmitted by speech. The longer the lecture the more drowsy and reluctant to question we become. Which also explains their love for extra classes. They don’t really want to complete the syllabus; they just want to ensure that we are under their spell.
What are we going to do about this madness? Secrecy is of utmost importance. If these aliens were to realize that we are on to them, we might spend the rest of our lives believing that gorillas evolved from man. We must fight these alien invaders with the best skills we have. Not to get all Justice League on you but The World Is Depending On Us. As this war begins I have just 2 pieces of advice to share with you – Don’t trust anyone and yawning in class is hazardous to health. May the force be with you.
Imagine an alien race determined to take over Earth. What better place to start then by weakening the future generations – that’s us by the way. Teachers are just perfectly situated to carry out this mission. They have us poor souls completely in their mercy. Everything they say we blindly believe, because, lets face it none of us are jobless enough to take time out to actually verify if what they are saying is true or not.
Haven’t you ever suspected your math teacher was actually from mars? Well according to my brilliant hypothesis she could be. It’s perfectly logical. While we are at home slaving over assignments – given to us by these pseudo teachers – they are out taking over the world. Why do you think they even give us these assignments and projects, its not like they ever correct them. The answer is so simple: to keep us busy and unsuspecting while they hatch their devious schemes.
All day long we have to listen to boring lectures of complete nonsense that are never going to help us in our lives. What difference does it make if bears hibernate in the winter? Don’t these people believe in live and let live? And what’s with Algebra anyway? I believe they come up with all these subjects just to keep us busy. Have you noticed that every time we seem to finally catch up with history, more is made and invariably added to next year’s syllabus by – you guessed it - teachers!
If one of us was so bold as to oppose this hideous torture we are immediately threatened with suspension and expulsion. Sounds a lot like dictatorship to me! We are threatened with mortal peril if we fail to bring an assignment on time. This effectively ensures that these aliens are free all evening to further their plans of invasion. Do you ever wonder what happens to these courageous souls who are bold enough to demand their rights? I think they are brainwashed during these long sessions with the headmistress because, as we all know, for a successful revolution to take place we need strong leaders. If no one opposes, the regime continues.
The reason I am convinced that these aliens are posing as teachers is because of the educational system we have here. What is the purpose of having such a major exam in the 10th? It is only needed to get into college, which we unsuspecting fools believe is an honour, when actually we are just voluntarily becoming victims to endless torture. Well the reason these teachers have this exam is because they know that by around the 8th std we are smart and worldly – wise enough to realize that a secret invasion is taking place. To ensure we remain ignorantly blissful they introduce this major exam and keep our noses to the grindstone so that we not only get a pointed nose, but we are too busy to realize the world is in peril. After 3 years of hard work we are just too exhausted and concentrate on acquiring some well-deserved R & R. By the time we reach the 12th we are fully revitalized and ready to take on these invaders. Hence the ‘your whole career is based on this’ major exam in the 12th. We humans are such that once we turn 18 we are now adults and thus too old for silly things like magic, witchcraft and alien invasions. We refuse to acknowledge the truth staring us in the face. These aliens get away scot-free!
I am not saying all teachers are aliens, but some definitely are. Take my high school physics teacher for example. She was a brilliant teacher, well practiced in the art of terrifying and torturing students. After our finals she mysteriously vanished. Of course the popular rumour was that she was pregnant and I have no reason to believe it was not true, but how are we to know she didn’t actually go back to her planet so that she and the ‘Council for the Betterment of Student Torture Techniques’ popularly called the CBSTT could come up with new torture devices? I personally know that such a committee does indeed exist. The previous technique introduced by them was the system of Mindmaps. This ingenious technique allowed them to tire the right part of our brain – the creative side – as well as the left part (the logical side).
What about my college zoology teacher? I always suspected her of being an ET, she is even called one! Little did I know that it was true. It is impossible for a normal human to emit sleep vibes as effectively as she does.
Which brings me to the point of exactly how these aliens manage to dupe us so fast. Come on we are all very smart, modern guys and gals so how do they convince us that they are right and we are wrong? The answer: hypnotic sound waves transmitted by speech. The longer the lecture the more drowsy and reluctant to question we become. Which also explains their love for extra classes. They don’t really want to complete the syllabus; they just want to ensure that we are under their spell.
What are we going to do about this madness? Secrecy is of utmost importance. If these aliens were to realize that we are on to them, we might spend the rest of our lives believing that gorillas evolved from man. We must fight these alien invaders with the best skills we have. Not to get all Justice League on you but The World Is Depending On Us. As this war begins I have just 2 pieces of advice to share with you – Don’t trust anyone and yawning in class is hazardous to health. May the force be with you.
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